Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.

Customer: Ok

Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer: No

Tech Support: Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

Customer: Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’

***

Customer: Do I need a computer to use your software?

Tech Support: ?!%#$

***

Tech Support: Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?

Customer: Wow. How can you see my screen from there?

***

Tech Support: What type of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one

***

Tech Support: Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.

Customer: How do you spell that?

***

Tech Support: What’s on your screen right now?

Customer: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.

***

Customer: My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion

***

Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder

***

Customer: How do I print my voicemail?

***

Customer: You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won’t boot properly.

Tech Support: What does it say?

Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.

Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?

Customer: No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.

***

Tech Support: Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.

Customer: Is that Eastern time?

***

Tech Support: What does the screen say now?

Customer: It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.

Tech Support: Well then.. .what’s the problem?

Customer: How do I know when it’s ready?

Tags: Call Center, Jokes

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